Once Upon A Time (Season 1 - 1/2 Season 3)

What kind of sorcery is Chai tea. It’s spicy, it tastes weird, it shouldn’t even be called tea but above all–it’s addictive?

Oh hi.

It’s such a coincidence that I ordered a large Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks before writing this review. Listen, before I start, it shouldn’t be called a review because I tend to trail off-topic so call it whatever you please. Anyway, as I was saying, it’s a coincidence that I’m writing this while drinking this tea. It’s literally a representation of the series I’m going to ramble about.

Once Upon a Time (OUAT) is annoyingly addictive, much like this tea. Alright, many of you are probably from my list of followers on twitter and if you are and for some reason haven't muted me you’d probably know how confused I am by this series’ nonsense. Oh and by the way congratulations for reaching this point of this review–you’ve wasted your time.

Ugh. You see, this tea is a mixture of spice, cinnamon, herb, milk and all sorts of things that don’t go together. It doesn’t make sense but it’s intriguing and I have to finish it because face it I paid for it. That’s how the series is–it literally throws every fairytale told into one place to the point it’s messy and ridiculous but once you're immersed in it? Yeah pray to God you’ll escape. I got myself into this just as I did with this tea so I have to finish it. Do you know why that is? Because despite the ridiculousness, its plot is undeniably interesting and somewhat original.

The more I drink this tea the weirder it gets. The resemblance is unbelievable. I really don’t like cinnamon.

Anyway.

I’m going to point out before everything else that the characters in this series are completely borrowed for their stories than their actual characters. I think while they are its strongest asset, they’re also the greatest weakness. See why I’m confused? See although most of the characters are out of characters (OOC), which tends to repel fairytale lovers, the changed personalities of the characters are acceptable for the dark plot, and rather, some of them are attractive in a way.

Let's start with the negative.

What pissed me off was that again for the hundredth time, Aurora is portrayed useless and childish. See I get it why that happens–because really all Aurora did was sleep and cry and she is young. But there are a few hints that show her actual traits–she was born an only child, and raised by three old fairies, she shows a level of maturity in her actions and respect. For example she did all the food searching, and although she was in love with someone else, she did not run from the responsibility of being a princess. She did cry but it was always away from where people can see her. She is rather cautious than she is a coward (seen during her first met with Phillip). She's also quietly strong (when she hesitated to touch the needle while she was under a spell). And she came back to the castle and greeted the king and queen in a royalty manner. She is a natural throne. I watched Sleeping Beauty more than enough during my childhood to pick up on these subtle details. So no, despite how twists show her character, Aurora is more than a sleeping beauty.

Now that’s done I’m going to briefly discuss the other characters’ traits and how they’re different in the series in a list (Aurora gets a whole paragraph because my perception is biased towards her ok):

Snow White –this friendly princess is actually talkative, a tease and playful, and I’ve only learned this from my sister and it’s true. If you watch Snow White you can pick up scenes where she teases and makes fun of the animals and dwarfs specifically Grumpy. In the series, although she shows motherly leadership and school teacher skill as does the actual Snow White, there is not much hint of her lively and fun trait.

Cinderella –obviously she’s a pushover and patient and hopeful. In the series, she’s selfish (how she got to meet the prince) and ungrateful in a way? She isn’t all that patient like actual Cinderella is, that’s really my point.

Ariel –hahah now no offence, I like her but my sisters don't really because truth is she's the most selfish of all the princesses. If you love Disney you’ll know what I mean. In the series, she's selfless and timid, far from how Ariel was before she married Eric. The Ariel in the series came back to save Snow. Now the real Ariel would have left for her true love because she could betray her own father, why couldn't she a friend?

Mulan –pissed off by how she's very different from the fairytale character –Mulan is strong yes but she isn't supposed to be cold and obsessive. She's actually very considerate and humble and honest. More pissed off by how she’s brought into a love triangle in the series. And you know with whom? Phillip and Aurora. That's right. The only thing that helps me make peace with that is the Aurora in the series is annoying I don't even care anymore.

Phillip –oh my Prince Charming is really charming. I somehow feel he has younger siblings because of the way he behaves, and the way he treats his father shows how well he knows him. Simply put, he's a family person. Brave and loyal. The Phillip in the series shows hint of all this except for teeny tiny detail –he, like Snow White, is a lively and open character but in OUAT he's portrayed as more quiet and reserved.

Okay I could go on and on about how OOC the characters are but at the same time it’s understandable because they need to fit the modified, darkened plot. And many of you might already know that Disney was the one who twisted and turned most of the dark legends/stories into fairytales which makes the OOC-ness acceptable. Yep for those who didn't know it's the fairytales that are actually a lie. But anyway, while this is acceptable, it’d still be a bonus if the original good guys from Disney fairytales’ stayed in their unique characters.

Enough with the negativity –on to the strength in the characters. If you’ve reached past S03E10, you’d probably know who’s first in the list. Yep.

Peter Pan –I could accept the fact that he's the villain because theory says he is actually the bad guy who lures children and Hook is one of his poor victims. Listen to me, Pan is attractively vicious I can guarantee you'd be caught in between wanting to kill him and forgiving him because yes he’s the bad guy but if he’s defeated it'll mean you don't get to see him again. You know what I'll get back to this later.

Rumplestiltskin/Beast –he was my favourite before Pan appeared. His quick wit and sarcasm are however, still my top favourite things in the whole series. I might write an entire separate post to honour his dialogues because seriously it’s not something you should miss. Big round of applause for the writers for this.

Evil Queen/Regina –I honestly don’t know what to say about her. She's evil alright but when she changed I have a soft spot for her… in the least strange way, mind you.

Hook –do I have to explain?

Belle –her loyalty to Beast is just admirable. And her courage and knowledge. I think of all the princesses, she’s the closest to the original character. See what I mean by how it is a bonus to keep the personality while still going with the plot?

Tarzan –yeh he hasn't appeared I'm just putting him on the list because I want him to appear.

Wow that was only the cast and characters. Still with me? What are you doing with your life seriously.

The plot –again, let me repeat it –this series is ridiculous it throws anything it can to fill the scenes. I mean one moment there are unicorns and the next there are flying monkeys. One second they are in fairytale land where zombies exist (I kid you not I laughed so hard at this I had to take a break from watching) the next they're in dreams communicating from different lives. As I said, it's ridiculous don't even deny it. But you know what's more ridiculous than that? It works. It actually works. I'm so frustrated by this fact that everytime I think about it I laugh because it's too confusing I feel like I'm Mad Hatter without the hat.

I could get a hat.

Anyway.

There are small fillers like Cinderella and Hook’s stories. Yes I count some stories in the series as fillers where I feel like it because if they were not there the series would still make sense. The fillers basically show how the new characters connect with the main ones. But fillers or main plot –the series is intriguing as it is. Which is why I'm still stuck watching when all I get from it are reasons to complain. The plot is a pile of abstracts so I’m just going to summarise it. Before that, first thing you have to know about is Rumple. Believe me, he's everywhere in the series. He’s The Dark One, an evil spirit that can be possessed (or that can possess) by killing the person who has it with The Dark One’s dagger. Rumple became The Dark One after killing the previous Dark One YOU GET IT. So to make the world be free and safe from The Dark One, The Dark One has to stab himself with the dagger.

Anyway.

Here’s what I found out so far (I’m gonna spill everything here):

So Snow White was once a child who told stuff to people. She told Cora the eviler mother of the Evil Queen that Evil Queen was in love with a stable boy while engaged to Snow’s father the king. Cora killed stable boy. Evil Queen blames Snow. Wanted Snow dead. Never succeeded. Changed her mind –tried to make Snow miserable that is to separate her from Charming as she possibly could. Asked help from Rumplestiltskin to cast a spell that brought the fairytale characters to our world (in a made up place called Storybrooke) and make them forget who they were. Of course the spell can be broken by something or someone. This case, it’s the daughter of Charming and Snow, Emma. They… sigh.

Can you actually believe they put their baby in a wardrobe that could send her to the world they were going to cursed into so Emma could find and save them when she reached 28? What did they expect? That the baby would crawl its way to a family and wait 28 years to go home? To be honest Snow and Charming are terrible strategists for two so-called reliable leaders. They didn't even think about the possibility that the baby wouldn't be found and survive. I know I know they wanted to give her the best chance but if they expected to be saved by her, the least they could do was leave a hint while waiting for the wardrobe to finish. You know, like probably, write a letter that says: yo Em, we're your parents we’re trapped in a curse so in 28 years could you come and save us? Thanks p.s. Love you. Please don't die. Or something like that. Emma probably would think of it as a joke but at least that’s something.

Oops I trailed off again there. So yeh. After that Henry was born, Emma’s son. Evil Queen was bored and lonely of the new life because everything went as she wished. So she asked Gold (Rumple in Storybrooke) to find her a child. Rumple was aware of his past self, so he deliberately gave her Henry. Henry noticed the town was stuck in time and believed in a storybook of the twisted fairytales. I really don't know how he managed to find Emma from the millions of people on Earth but he did so he brought her back. Yada yada yada Emma believed after oh so long and broke the spell.

Cora arrived after and tried to brainwash the Evil Queen who was slowly changing to a better person for Henry. I honestly don’t remember how Cora died but she did. Oh, during this time Hook appeared as Cora’s partner in crime (literally). The reason Hook was there was because he wanted to kill Rumple because Rumple killed his girl friend who was Rumple’s cheating wife. Yes it’s that complicated. Oh then Rumple’s son Baelfire happened to meet Hook in Neverland so they had this bond.

Oops did I forget to mention? Rumple’s goal for going along with the curse was to find Bae who he abandoned when they promised to have a fresh start while Bae was in the portal. Now now either you’re lost by now or angry at Rumple let me tell you he was scared for a reason –he was abandoned by his own father after they left for Neverland to start a new life. Why you ask? Because his father was obsessed with youth and being free and he was incredibly selfish he broke his ties with Rumple. He turned young on Neverland. You get the gist now? Yes yes it’s Peter Pan.

How Peter Pan and Rumple reunited? Yeh Pan kidnapped Henry because he needed the heart of the truest believer so Rumple, Snow, Charming, Hook and of course Henry’s mothers went to Neverland. Drama here drama there yada yada yada Peter Pan was killed by Rumple who in the process had to sacrifice his own life back in Storybrooke. Don’t ask me how they're back there I haven't got all day find out yourself and join in the frustration of not getting out of it.

Also, teeny tiny detail I should've mentioned before Peter Pan –Rumple found his son and as it turned out Baelfire was Henry’s father (HA have fun figuring out the family tree). The writers decided to go with fate to explain how this happened. It’s acceptable really because after all that I’ve said, did you really wait until now to say ridiculous?

Believe it or not that's the summary of the series up to S03E11. Now there’s a new villain in town and it’s a fresh new main plot, I believe. Now I did ramble on some where I couldn't hold back in the summary. Let me just point out a few things that I thought during Peter Pan adventure. Rather, towards the end. So Peter Pan exchanged his body with Henry’s so before Rumple turned it back, they put a magic nullifier wrist accessory that cannot be taken off by the wearer on Pan’s body. When Pan’s back in his body, he laughed it off because he made the wrist thingy so it didn’t work at all with him so he put it on Rumple’s arm.

Rumple could've cut his wrist and use magic to restore it. Yes it's possible because he did it for another character previously when his shoulder was cut from the rest of his body. And don't even get me started on how Rumple killed Pan. In order to defeat Pan, they had to kill Pan. Pan never fails and so he could not really be killed. The only way was for Rumple to kill himself with his dagger and make himself disappear because that way no one will become the dark one. Get this, Rumple kinda hugged his father and killed himself from Pan’s back because then he could bring Pan with him into disappearance. …

… I mean.

Okay if Rumple was smart or (if he was) courageous enough to cut his wrist and free himself from the nullification he could've killed Pan with his power. For heaven’s sake, Rumple really did disappoint me then.

Also Pan got away with everything? I don't know if I miss anything here but how can he fail to escape the embrace at that last scene?

Another thing is. Honestly if this was applied, Pan probably died sooner. Peter Pan should’ve been powerless in Storybrooke if you think about it. See Pan initially didn't have magic –hell he did a card trick and people found out because it failed and that was enough to tell viewers he didn't have magic before Neverland. See Neverland was a place where dreams come true if you believe they will. That’s what makes Pan powerful –his imagination. And that's supposed to only happen in Neverland. So Pan shouldn't have magical powers anywhere else.

Yes I detected that but you know what? I don't even care. This series’ ridiculousness is what made its plot and made it intriguing. As much as I want to deny it –I'm not so much in denial as I am confused to be fair –I like this series in a different kind of way than I do other shows and that's interesting enough to make me stay. Well, honestly if you could make me stay and like something that includes annoying and useless Aurora, you could expect me staying to the end.

Okay the tea is finished eugh. But I’m only almost finished. Still here? Seriously? Suit yourself.

I’ll just throw another list here on my favourite ideas and scenes of the series:

Rumple as the Beast. Lord I really love this twist it’s almost brilliant.

(in love with this gif tbh)

Whoever really came up with this you deserve a candy. Yep to those who reached this far in this review not having any idea about what's really happening, Rumple is the Beast in Beauty and the Beast. Pretend to be mind blown as I am, at least. And I feel the fact that both Belle and Beast retain their personalities as the original Disney one makes it more effective. Yes even as two characters in one, Rumple has that Beast in him –the vulnerable, dependent, and all the same, short-tempered child who is just lonely. Their scenes were also a reenactment of the actual Beauty and The Beast like when Beast let Belle go and trusted her to come back, when he gave Belle the library, they were all there.

Peter Pan turned out to be the father of Rumple. Because that's unexpected and I love it. If you haven't watched it I really ruined it for you because that was the part in the whole series when I was really impressed and I had to watch the previous episodes to see their interactions as father and son and I was like ‘OHH THAT MAKES SENSE’ yep believe you me that was the only time I'd admit the series actually made sense.

Prince Charming and Snow fairytale-like relationship. This happened after the curse broke which makes sense because once they're fairytale characters again, so is their relationship. And don't get me wrong they're still out of characters but their relationship is too adorable it makes me sick. They're literally unbreakable.

The writing, the dialogue. Although they can be cheesy and cringe-worthy, the dialogue and humour are great. But do expect to hear a lot of these in the series:

I will find you. I will always find you.

Magic always comes with a price.

What’s the price?

What’s in it for you?

I promise.

Why should I trust you?

Peter Pan never fails.

There are more but I forgot eh anyway.

Regina slowly becomes the good guy and I like how she and Emma are slowly opening up with each other. It actually is a good thing to show –the evil can change. Unlike the few twists that show villains have their reasons to do evil things –this series actually show how trust is gained by the evil’s will to change instead of giving excuses for villains to keep doing bad things. See, the Evil Queen still has a heart.

Speaking of hearts. Let’s move on to the few top ridiculous things I find in this series.

The ability to take the heart and keep the owner alive without it. To be fair, the series is allowed to make no sense. Apparently the heart controls everything. More powerful than the brain. It’s true that if you can manipulate the heart, it means you can control the owner. But doesn't that suggest brain has no function at all? Or fairytale characters think with their hearts? Then I wonder what’s inside their skull? I really don't know if I could explain this and I don't even know if I could even accept the logic. This series confuses me.

Red Riding Hood is the wolf. Yes she's a wolverine which makes it all wrong. They even disregarded the adorably stupid wolf/wolves in the story books. Bias alert here because the Red Riding Hood is one of my favourite bedtime stories as a child so it's nice to have the details kept. I like Ruby (her Storybrooke character) I do but it'd also be nice to have her as still the innocent brave small girl. But with Red Riding Hood the series doesn't even borrow her character, they only borrow the red hood to be quite frank.

Mulan is in love with Phillip. God that really pissed me off.

Giants are powerless against humans. Lol don't even fight me on this I’ve seen people crush ants when they're annoyed. Oh and while at it Jack is the bad guy. But I like the twist that Jack’s a girl.

Charming has a twin brother and is not really a prince.

There are zombies in fairytale land.

Emma and Hook are a possible canon couple and I find this disturbing almost laughable in a way with what the relationships and all, and the fact that they have zero chemistry? I don't know I just don't agree with it.

Tarzan. Because he's still not in the series.

Okay enough of that. Here we are finally another reason that made me stay –the cast.

I think because either you watched the series or you actually read my tweets, you know who comes up first. Yes Robbie Kay the Peter Pan. You'll know OUAT fans will agree with me because he'll come up in search suggestion on Google for OUAT. I don't usually join mainstream things but let me tell you one thing –Robbie Kay? He's not overrated. He's actually very talented for his role as Peter Pan (and for a brief moment, Henry) and he deserves the attention. And what's crazy is he actually does look like the cartoon character. You kinda want to kill him for being so evil but at the same time you'll feel like one of those right hand characters who are blinded by their love for the villain? Kay wasn't even my type at first but his villainous devilish character and how he professionally portrayed it is brilliant.

You know how actors playing villains are usually everyone’s favourite? Like Tom Hiddleston, Alan Rickman, Laurence Fishburne to name a few. It’s true because like heroes, villains have to be played by great actors to make the show work. Which is why Robert Carlyle made it to my list of favourite actors because from the start Rumple is my favourite character. It’s amazing how he can go from evil to good from villain to hero to pathetic to powerful in split seconds. Robert Carlyle is a talent, truly a blessing of the show. And frankly, he saves the show. If it weren't for him there's a higher chance that I stopped at season 1. I’ll definitely watch other movies or shows he's in because that's what I do.

Lana Parrilla is, too, another memorable villain who should be mentioned. From likable in real life, she turns evil like magic in the show. I love how she portrayed the queen as forced evil –like she actually has a good heart but her evil instinct forces her to go against it. Seriously you'll know how good she is when you learn her real personality.

Colin O’Donoghue I’m just putting him here because as Hook actually put it, he's devilishly handsome, just as he is talented. Without the curly hair and red coat, who would've thought Hook’s character is retained? Yep despite the obvious clumsiness of the actual Hook character, Hook in OUAT is subtly as adorably clumsy behind his charms.

I realise I didn’t mention the good guys here because I give honest reviews and to be honest I don’t really like Emma and Henry’s characters. I don't know if it's something about the cast or something else I just don't find them a strong asset of the show despite them being the main characters. I like Henry’s character development, though, and Jared Gilmone is clearly improving as a potential, growing actor. This was seen when he had to play the villainous Peter Pan during the exchange. He almost mimics Robbie Kay’s wickedness and that's impressive.

The same goes to the other good guys. I feel something is missing for a remarkable heroic character like Thor, Ironman, Katniss Everdeen, and I know these examples are whoa to compare with fairytale characters. But that’s just it –Snow and Charming, although they are strong warriors, their characters lack that charisma powerful enough to reach the villains’ levels. Again I'm not sure if this was problem with the cast or how the characters are made, because I actually like Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas.

Otherwise, scene stealers are also a good set of cast. Red Riding Hood, Tinkerbell, Felix, Grumpy, Hansel and Gretel, et cetera et cetera and my favourite one, the Blind Witch. They are all great and the scenes, with good editing and great writing, they just work. I love it about this series.

And despite all that I actually adore the real cast relationships in real life (I usually watch bloopers and interviews) it makes me feel bad for even thinking the show could be better without some of them.

Okay I think I’m done with this because I'm tired. I'm impressed you're still here. Anyway, to summarise it all: plot, characters, cast and dialogues are my favourite things about the show but at the same time some of these are what pissed me off. But I really can't escape. Up to now I have no idea what’s happening most of the time, and I have even less idea why I’m still watching. The series is unique in its own way. Give it a try I dare you.

Overall I honestly don't know how to rate it so far. A part of me tells me not to go below 5 because face it I'm attracted to it somehow. But as the number increases, there's this strong force that prevents the number from reaching 6.8 so yeah I’m going with 6.2/10. That is pretty damn high I’m so so confused.

Until next time.

-

After note: It’s longer than expected, I know, but for a review (or whatever this is called) of two seasons and a half, it is actually pretty short. I'd usually write a review on a specific episode that I feel worth reviewing but because I just got my keyboard yesterday after being drawn into watching the whole two seasons, I lost track of the episodes. So this review only highlighted the things I remember and was dying to write down for days.